Tom Crust '92 "Falls Flat Tour" (Legends of Comedy)
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Lyrics
Hey, it's Tom Crust, here to bring the laughs in the early '90s! With my fresh comedy and crusty wit, I'm the Swiss Army knife of humor. So grab your Hammer pants and get ready to bust a gut, 'cause if it ain't crusty, it ain't funny! Let's party like it's 1992! thanks for being here anyways I had a friend who loved self-deprecating humor. He used to say, "I'm so depressed, even my therapist needs a therapist." Tragically, he passed away last week. We threw him a lovely funeral. It was his first time attending one. Now, I know what you're thinking - "This guy's darker than an espresso at midnight." But hey, life's short, and laughter is the best medicine, right? Even if it's the kind that leaves a slightly bitter taste in your mouth. Alright, alright... settle down, folks! So, I've been thinking about death a lot lately. You know, that inevitable thing that happens to all of us? I've decided that I want to go out with a bang. Not a literal bang, I mean, I don't want to explode or anything... although that would be pretty cool, wouldn't it? Anyway, I'm thinking about becoming a funeral clown. You know, to add a bit of pizzazz to those stuffy, depressing events. I'll be the one jumping out of the coffin, honking my red nose, and asking, "So, who's next?" And if that doesn't work out, I'm considering opening up a crematorium-themed restaurant. Our specialty dish? Ashes to Ashes, Crust to Crust - a mouth-watering wood-fired pizza with a hint of grandma's secret ingredient. Lastly, I recently heard about this support group for procrastinators. It's called "Later." They've been planning their first meeting for years now. I've been meaning to join, but, well... I'll get around to it eventually. Alright, that's all, folks!
