The Facelift Waltz
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Lyrics
Well this ole gal was 50 and she bought herself a treat, She got a fancy facelift then went walking down the street, She made a stop at the grocery shop, to see what folks Would say She asked the checker with a smile how old do you think I am today? I don’t know, the checker said, maybe 32? It made the old gal happy so she asked at the Wal-mart too. The fella there said 29? She thought that she would burst. At McDonald’s she said it’s my birthday, They guessed it was her 31st. Mmmm Now this old man at the bus stop said, my eyesight’s not real good There was a way to tell when I was young but I don’t think I should, ‘Cause I’d need to Reach inside your bra then I could surely tell The woman thought, then shrugged said Aw go ‘head, what the hell. Well the old man reaches up her shirt, all careful and real slow, He bounces and he weighs each one, and pinches each just so He pushes them together, rubs one against it’s twin Then when he’s done he just goes on and does it all again. The lady clears her throat, So tell, How old am I today? Ma’am, you’re exactly 50, is what she heard him say She gasps and says how did you know, that really blows my mind Ma’am I heard you tellin’ everyone, back in the Walmart line.
