Lyrics

Stove tops ain’t a good place for firework storage? And rambling drunk talk don’t count as stories? Wow..., I didn't know that, You're telling me now for the first time You’re saying cunnilingus ain’t a vicious disease? And if I put shoes on AFTER my jeans, I’ll put them on with the greatest of ease? Wow..., I didn't know that, You're telling me now for the first time Hmmmm Ohhh woah I tell you fellas I've been caught out, Doing somethin' I really shouldn't, Gonna plead ignorance, gonna tell 'em about How if I'd'a known better I just wouldn't Ohhhhh-woah-oh-oh-ohhhhh hmmmmm hmmmm When they say drinking turpentine ain't where it's at, And insurance fraud is a federal crime, Wow..., I didn't know that, You're telling me now for the first time. It turns out I really shouldn't eat that bat, And Twitter ain't a legitimate passtime?, Ohhh Wow!..., I didn't know that, You're telling me now for the first time. Well look 'ere, this is all news to me, What else do you think this could possibly be?, I once was blind but now I see I can only offer you my guaranteeeeeee, Ohhhh-woah-oh-oh-ohhh [chorus] What you mean a lemon ain't the same as a lime, And work don't begin at half past nine? Wow..., I didn't know that, You're telling me now for the first time ohhh on Monday does the liquor store usually open at? (ohhhh-ohhh) So I can't drive my Dodge Ram after a fifth o' wine?, Wow...., I didn't know that, (ohhhh oh-ohhhh) You're tellin' me now for the first time. [guitar solo] [guitar solo] [chorus] They say passing out in public ain't where it's at, And defrauding investors is a serious crime, Wow..., I didn't know that, You're telling me now for the first time. Wow..., I didn't know that, (ohhhh-oh-ohhhh) You're telling me now for the first time. Wow..., I didn't know that, (ohhhh-oh-ohhhh) You're telling me now for the first time. (the first tiiiiime) Wow..., I didn't know that, (ohhhh-oh-ohhhh) You're telling me now for the first time. Wow..., I didn't know that, (ohhhh-oh-ohhhh) You're telling me now for the first time. (the first tiiiiime)